I’M BAAAAAAAAAACK

but yeah ok, FUN THINGS ABOUT LEEDS INCLUDE:

• meeting a self-labeled “jack white connoisseur” within half an hour of being there and geeking out massively about everything ever to do with mr white to an absolute fucking stranger.
• “everyone likes me, i can’t help it, i’m a sagittarius - an optimist! i’m literally a fucking man, riding a fucking horse, holding fucking arrows. i shoot my arrow, and it lands, right in your mom’s vagina.”
• alec empire mmm and just atari teenage riot in general, oh my gawd
• “GINGER GINGER GIIIIIIIIIIIINGER! GINGER! THERE’S A GINGER! HEY, YOU’RE GINGER, but that’s great.”
• everyone (well, most people) being really accommodating and lovely and kind and helping me out when i’m scared and upset
• yelling anchorman quotes in every direction and having about 39043904 come back at you
• “you must think though right, what the fuck is actually going on? you’re talking to a stranger who just said he doesn’t smoke, yet he wants to break your wrist just for your cigarette. why are you even talking to me? i should probably go.”
• coming to the conclusion that male ladybirds must be the ‘gayest cretin on the cretin planet’
• rufus hounds’ views and beliefs on life ie. “more blowjobs equals world peace”, also his sincere apologies to the children which sorta went like “i’m really sorry to all the children out there, and i can see a few, who came with the expectations of seeing the funny man off cbbc who dances around a spaceship, but got a bloke talking about sex and sucking dick. suddenly, life is really fucked up, isn’t it?”
• lovely shops with fairly nice clothes
• lack of mud
• “isn’t there 25 hours in a day though?”
• yelling WELLY TOP at everyone ever. why? i don’t know.
• squashing loads of strangers in our tent to talk about children and sex
• “i end up sending weird texts when i’m drunk too. not gay ones like you, but bad ones. things like ‘why did you do that.’ when i haven’t spoken to the person in  fucking…forever”
• melting chocolate over campfires, mmmm

BAD THINGS ABOUT LEEDS:

• everything having food poisoning
• toilets
• SIMON NEIL’S NEW HAIR/BEARD.